Leaf&Core

Apple Reveals iPhone 17 Lineup, AirPods Pro 3, and More

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The iPhone 17 Pro camera up close

Honestly, it’s the best-looking iPhone in a long time. Photo credit: Apple

I’ll keep this quick, because, frankly, Apple hasn’t released anything that’s caught my eye in years and I don’t feel like spending hours on every minute detail anymore. Each year of updates is a splash of paint and slightly improved internals. I’ve gotten so bored of them that I actually didn’t even watch the keynote this year. Another slab of glass that’s too big for your pocket, a watch that has looked the same for 11 years (bad), and a generally unimaginative lineup. I used to have people ask me about the new Apple products when they came out. It’s part of the reason I started a blog to begin with! Now? No one cares.

Today, Apple revealed:

So let’s take a super quick look at some of these, shall we?

iPhone 17 Lineup

Photo Credit: Apple

The coolest part of the new lineup has got to be the iPhone 17 Pro. It comes in a new “cosmic orange” color.

What, you want more?

It has Apple’s biggest camera bump ever, though, despite spanning the entire top of the device, is still not enough to keep the lenses from protruding, which may still cause the device to rock on a table unless you get a case for it. It also means most cases will expose even more of the device, both for looks and also to make it slightly more vulnerable to damage.

The new unibody construction is cool though. Rather than a seamless back, the back features a smaller amount of glass. This should make it more durable, as well as look more unique. I’ll be honest, the “cosmic orange” iPhone 17 Pro is the coolest looking iPhone since the iPhone 4s. I’m glad they decided to finally get a bit more creative with the iPhone design.

You want specifics? Fine. But you better appreciate it, because these releases are about as boring as watching paint dry, and I’m summarizing it for you out of the goodness of my heart. No AI was tortured in the making of these summaries, this is all raw human pain, baby!

iPhone 17/17 Plus

iPhone 17 Pro/Pro Max

iPhone Air

Photo credit: Apple

Have you wanted an iPhone with worse battery life? What about fewer cameras? Slower data transfer capabilities from a decade ago? And would you also like it to still cost as much as an iPhone 17 Pro? Then Apple has the answer for you!

God, we got this instead of an iPhone that fits in a hand or pocket better? P.T. Barnum allegedly never said that there was a sucker born every minute, but if you’re thinking of buying a worse but more expensive iPhone because it’s 3.11mm thinner than the far better iPhone 17 Pro, might say that about you.

I have no idea who this is for. Who wants a thinner phone? It’s not useful in any way. It doesn’t feel better in the hand, it has less battery life, fewer cameras than even the iPhone 17, and is likely quite fragile compared to the iPhone 17 Pro, which this costs as much as. Know what would be better? an iPhone 17 Pro mini that’s so thick it doesn’t need a camera bump with over 30 hours of battery life. Now that’s a cool proposition.

AirPods Pro 3

Photo credit: Apple

These may be the coolest things Apple introduced. They’ll look just about identical to the AirPods Pro 2, but supposedly will have better sound quality, better fit, and better active noise cancellation. Apple says they have the best ANC out of any in-ear headphone. They also will have live language translation powered by Apple Intelligence, which, if it works, could be a cool new feature. They also have heart rate sensors now, so your earbuds can collect information on your heart during workouts. It doesn’t seem that it will track your heart rate outside of workouts, likely to preserve battery life. Also, you’ll need Apple’s Fitness+ subscription to see real-time performance metrics on a screen during workouts.

Live translation will quiet voices around you, feeding you the translated phrases. You can also speak your native language and have your phone display translations, allowing you to communicate anywhere. If it works as well as Apple says it does, it could be the most exciting thing Apple introduced for travelers. We’re just a bit closer to being able to understand each other just a little better.

Apple Watch Updates

Just kidding! That’s my Apple Watch 6.

Out of all of Apple’s devices, I cannot think of something I find more boring than the Apple Watch. It just has not been interesting to me. The design is ugly, boring, and dated. It’s basically the same watch it has been since the first model. I need the information it provides so rarely that usually when I go to use my own the battery is dead from sitting idle and off for too long and needs a charge.

At least they can do blood oxygen sensing again.

Apple Watch Series 11

This one’s the Apple Watch Series 11. Big difference! Photo credit: Apple

Apple Watch Ultra 3

Apple Watch SE 3

Another Year!

And that just about wraps up the most notable features of everything Apple revealed today. Back to bed for me, reading through all this made me tired. Wake me up when I can fold one in half like my two year old Motorola phone. Or better yet, when there’s finally one worthy of replacing my iPhone 13 mini.

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