The Apple Sport Loop is Ugly, Like Many Apple Watch Bands. There, I Said It.

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Apple has had some questionable designs over the years. The Apple Cube G4 could overheat if you placed anything on top of it. The iPod Shuffle once had no buttons, and could only be controlled by the controls on the headphones. Neat, but not practical. But at least they were beautiful designs. But the Apple Watch Sport Loop? Neither beautiful nor practical.

I recently got the Apple Watch Series 6, in part because I wanted an Apple Watch with a little more “pop” for some time now. The (Product)Red Apple Watch is perfect for that. I wanted to get the (Product)Red Solo Loop with it, but, unfortunately, Apple still hasn’t released it. However, at least now their website now says “Available in October.” Instead, I was stuck with what Apple shipped it with.

Now, I’m partially to blame. I could have used Apple Watch Studio to at least get the Sport Band. But shipping times were slipping, and, being a reviewer, I wanted to get my hands on it right away. Especially since I’m not one of those reviewers who shares her review just one day after using a product. I like to take at least a week, preferably a month. So I just quickly ordered the basic model with what it came with.

I regret rushing. I forgot just how much I hate the Sport Loop.

Just Grotesque

Okay, I’m being over the top here. The truth is, it’s not that bad. I actually love the color, and there’s no doubt that they’re not cheap, poorly made watch bands. It’s just everything else that I hate.

I feel like it’s too narrow at the point it meets the watch. It’s at an unnatural 90º angle instead of gently sloping into the width of the watch. It’s abrupt and jarring, as though the strap wasn’t made for the Apple Watch, but for a different, narrower watch. The texture is fuzzy, a little uncomfortable, and looks a bit like a child’s watch.

Then we get into the hump. This is actually my biggest pet peeve with the watch. It makes me aware of how unbearably unwearable it really is. There’s just a hump where ever the loop part of the Sport Loop is. If you place it at the top of the watch, it sits there, obviously raised over your wrist for all to see. Put it on the bottom and you have to look at it yourself. There’s no angle that looks seamless or symmetrical.

The strange hump just makes me think I could never get used to the look. I wanted to like it, I really did. The red watch and red band were going to be so cool. But I just don’t think it could ever grow on me.

I almost feel bad for hating it. Off my wrist, it doesn’t look so bad. Displayed on Apple’s website, it even looks cool. I just see the vibrant color and I want to try it out. But as soon as I put it on, I realize how unbalanced it is.

Uncomfortable

That unbalanced look leads to unequal force on your wrist as well. You’d expect a good sport band to be comfortable. Apple didn’t get the memo. Too loose, and the watch band looks bad and moves around too much. Too tight, and it digs into your skin, almost pressing into the bones of your lower forearm. My poor radius and ulna, trading jabs with my Apple Watch all day! I never could get it to just feel comfortable in one spot. Even in just a short time, I found myself adjusting it constantly.

What really surprises me is the fact that the hook and loop fabric is on both sides of the band. Why does my skin need to feel the loops of fabric? It works well for allowing airflow, I’ll give it that, but it’s still not very comfortable. It’s not as soft as something I’d like either rubbing my skin all day or pressed into it tightly.

Then again, what would be?

Doesn’t Fit On Charging Docks

I tried wearing my Apple Watch overnight a while ago. I got a Sport Loop with my Apple Watch Series 4. However, on the way to work, my watch died. What happened? I was using the Sport Loop, and it wasn’t charging while I was getting ready for work. Why not? Because Apple doesn’t give the Sport Loop band enough space at the part that attaches to the watch. The band goes perpendicular to the watch, pushing the charger away. It kept my Apple Watch too far from the charging pad, and it didn’t charge at all. I had the issue more than once before giving up entirely on the Sport Loop.

It wasn’t really my color anyway.

A Better Alternative: Woven Nylon

Whoops, Apple discontinued that one. Sure was nice while it lasted though. Kind of like a rugged NATO strap with a softer finish. I had one of these in their Pride style and really liked it. Also, I lost the other half of my Pride one, and that has me even more upset. It matched a watch face and everything!

Anyway, those cool “Woven Nylon” bands are gone now. Sorry.

It’s Mostly My Fault

Apparently some people actually love the Sport Loop.These people are what we call “wrong.” That or they have either the larger Apple Watch or significantly smaller wrists and never experience the issues I have because they don’t use a dock or charging station for their Apple Watch. However, I think we can at least agree that it’s controversial enough that Apple should either make it easier to swap it out for a different band while ordering or at least offer a less controversial band by default. Everyone’s fine with the original silicone band.

I should have taken a minute or two longer and made sure I just got a normal silicone Sport Band instead of the Sport Loop by going through Apple’s more time consuming Apple Watch Studio process. My reasoning was, 1) I should hurry so I can get it in time to review the Series 6, and 2) Since I was going to get the red Solo Loop, should I really get a similar sport band now? I, foolishly, decided to give the sport loop a try.

I tried, I really did! The (Product)Red color looks great. It’s vibrant, an excellent shade. But that pronounced bump, the discomfort, and the inability to fit in a docking-station charger really just makes it worthless to me.

I should have gone with another Apple Watch band.

But here’s the problem:

Apple’s Really Bad at Designing Watch Bands

Okay, let’s back up. Consider the Apple Watch, especially the new (Product)Red one. What are the two colors present on the watch?

It’s not a trick question: red and black.

Okay. Now find the red and black Apple Watch band. Maybe something like this knockoff Nike Sport band?

Nice, right? No, it’s terrible, falls off your wrist. Like every knockoff band, it’s made out of cheap materials and doesn’t actually clasp well. But it looks nice, right? Yeah. Would be cool if Apple offered something that matched their watches, right?

Apparently not. They’re nowhere to be found. No red on black. Apple realizes this is a winning combination for their hardware, but still hasn’t released a watch band that matches the color of the watch they sell.

Ridiculous, right?

How is it that Apple, a company that prides itself on design, doesn’t think of making color coordinating bands for their first colorful Apple Watches? They finally offer colorful watches and don’t even stop to think, “Hey, maybe people would also like matching watch bands?”

Pill Band

 

But what about their new Leather Loop? I raised an eyebrow when they first showed it. It’s magnetic, but because of those pill-shaped tumors, the band still has set sizes, removing the one benefit of Apple’s “Loop” bands: a perfect fit.

As for the looks? Apple, you killed perfectly good cows to make leather, and then did that to it? That at least could have been a part of a nice leather jacket! Instead it’s just… that. A lumpy, tumor-ridden, deformed watch band that looks like someone obsessed the the idea of “all food will be pills in the future” and just said, “Ah, but what if all watch bands were pills in the future too?”

Yarn.

Yarn?

This isn’t a nice homemade scarf from grandma, this is the band for a $400-$1,000 piece of hardware. And you want me using $100 yarn bands? Now, to be fair, the yarn doesn’t look too bad. It is actually recycled, and it also has silicone weaved in, to give it a stretchy feel. In the black color, in poor lighting, it even looks cool. But $100? For yarn?

I’d have to check these out in person, but so far, most people making “first impression” videos tend to agree: $100 is just too much for a yarn Apple Watch band, even a high quality stretchy one.

Leather

The Modern Buckle watch bands may be Apple’s best looking. Elegant and simple. The closure is unique and small. It’s light and feminine. But, if you’re not into leather, it’s a no-go. Sorry, vegans and vegetarians, Apple doesn’t have many options for you.

Speaking of leather though, is cowhide just a little too humane for you? Does the idea of killing a cow after it has had time to enjoy the feeling of grass under its hooves on the first day of spring just make you feel like you came to a party too late? Do you dream of playing polo, only to go and join your father on the weekly fox hunt? Then only the best skin, taken from a little baby calf will do. Just a strip of the infant cow’s flesh, no more than 22mm wide, tanned and dyed. That’ll be about $500, please.

What? Not right? Too expensive? Look at the equestrian heritage-inspired buckles!

And look at the leather itself! You can tell that calf barely saw the light of day by the smooth tanned leather! You can’t? Well, look closer!

I’ve never seen someone wearing a Hermès Apple Watch band in person. Or, maybe I have and just didn’t notice. Turns out when you’re not staring at that careful, artisan stitching through calfskin with a macro lens, they’re a little… pedestrian?

But, hey, you know you dropped $500 on it, and isn’t that worth it? It’ll be a constant reminder for a few years to remind you that you, yes, you, spent $500 on a 22mm wide strip of calfskin with equestrian-inspired buckles. You don’t know anyone else who would even dream of making a decision like that. You’re special!

Expensive When Good

The Link Bracelet isn’t terrible. I’m not even going to be snarky about it. It’s incredibly expensive and may not be stunning enough to turn heads, but looking at other metal bands in the luxury watch space, and we can at least say it’s not obnoxiously garish or gaudy. It was exceedingly hard to find a good example of a stylish metal watch band from luxury watch makers. The Apple Watch Link Bracelet looks utilitarian and almost futuristic. Like armor from the future.

What if you took all of the issues of the Sport Loop, used a potentially less secure magnetic closure, and charged more for it? Also it’s far heavier. I love the texture of the Milanese Loop. It’s a fantastic looking band. But at the mounting point where it loops around, you’ll have a raised lump where you attach it. Would you believe it costs as much as the yarn watch band?

It carries with it all the problems of the fabric Sport Loop, but in a material that makes it even more of a shame that its design gets in the way of its potential.

And that’s it.

Apple got rid of their Woven Nylon bands, the superior sport strap. They don’t offer anything with a more classical rugged look, like a NATO style band. No canvas. No cloth or fabric. No classic designs like padded leather. No intricate and feminine bracelets. They didn’t even try to be more creative, like Jord, who make wooden watch bands. They look cool and more elegant than Apple Watch bands that cost three times as much! Even their leather straps look better than Apple’s.

Why Does Apple Make Lousy Bands?

The company that wants the Apple Watch to be a fashion piece consistently insists on making it something you want to look away from. They have a few passable bands and those that look good are incredibly expensive. It wouldn’t be so bad if you could trust alternatives. But I’ve yet to try a knockoff silicone band or Nike clone that came close to the original. So many third party bands are just awful. It’s a shame more luxury watch makers aren’t selling Apple Watch bands. Currently, any watch bands you buy are a gamble. Either they look worse in person or they’re poorly made.

The design of the Apple Watch may have gotten stale. The new red and blue Apple Watches help with that. Perhaps next Apple should consider watch bands that people will actually want to wear.

Or to quote Gizmodo writer Victoria Song, Apple, “Enough with the ugly Apple Watch bands.” It’s time Apple starts thinking of new ways to redesign the watch band into something befitting their watches.